\documentstyle{letter}

\begin{document}

  Dear Faceless Corporate Entity,

  Thank you for the offer of your \underline{\hspace{ 2in}} credit card.
Please do me the favor of
\begin{itemize}

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} buggering off.
\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} jumping in the nearest lake.
\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} offering me a credit card that doesn't suck.

\end{itemize}

I must refuse the credit card you offered because

\begin{itemize}

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} you lied about ``no annual fee''.  Only the most math-impaired
retard would not realize that 12 months of a monthly fee is a yearly
fee.  Your offer insulted my intelligence.

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} your interest rate is about as competetive as an 80-year-old
grandmother on the defensive line of a SuperBowl team.

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} considering the the current economic trends, variable interest
rates are for shortsighted morons.

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} your card has no grace period.

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} you attempted a bait\&switch.

\begin{itemize}

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}}  Your card starts with one interest rate, then changes to another.

\item \underline{\hspace{ 7mm}} Your offer expounds upon the wonders
of a gold/platinum/titanium/plutonium card, but in fine print I find
I'm only eligible for a normal card.  You fail to detail the wonders
of your normal card.

\end{itemize}

\end{itemize}

  Feel free to offer me a different card or quit filling my mailbox
with pointlessly murdered trees.

\hskip 3in 
Cynically
\vskip .5in
\hskip 3in
Robert Forsman

\end{document}
